SomaCow

Originally hitched at SomaCow.com

In this hour, we discussed Estonian door-to-door sales shmucks, our manly things of the weeks, and we took a call from The Uberbastard, Chris, in response to my dilemma of etiquette.

Still no idea how to proceed with that, by the way. Anyone know how long it takes to get to Miami?

I have been trying to determine if a man, man, man gets married, lately. Mickey is currently single, and enjoying the bachelor life. He sleeps where, when, and with whom he pleases, eats when he is hungry, has a stellar couch and TV, and so forth. These trappings are all man, man, man.

I, however, spend many a day talking to the baby, helping to pick out some cute bowls at Target, and discussing nutrition.

J spends his entire life picking up and returning things to Pier One, Sticks and Stuff, Thom McAnn, Claire’s, Kohl’s, Macy’s, etc.

It would seem marriage is a giant emasculation sham, and shifts men from “Self-Absorbed Hunter” to “Gopher and Cuticle-Trimmer”. Maybe this is why married guys convert their garages to “purposed” rooms.

Tonight I want to go see the Perseid Meteor Shower. It is certainly a thing I would have done when I was single, no questions asked. But now I need to weigh it against,

“Do I want my kid out in all those mosquitos”"

“Should I be asking my wife to sit up with me all night when I usually have to throw water on her to get her to stay awake through 10:00PM?”

“Will I get enough sleep to be functional at work tomorrow, so I can continue to pay the mortgage?”

“Have I got baby-safe mosquito repellant?”

“What about the dogs? All three in the car seems like a pain”

“Where is a safe place to park, off someone’s land, away from all light sources, yet not in a swamp, yet with a clear view?”

“Better make sure the phones are charged in case there is an emergency”

“Should I take the pack-and-play?”

“What if everyone gets hungry? I should make up some food, but I need a cooler, and ice.”

“Should I bring a sweater for Jen in case she gets cold”

“Do we have folding chairs anymore? Where the hell are those things?”

“Have I got all the baby wipes, diapers, gripe water, orajel, balmx, aveeno skin cream, tissues, toys, and sippy cups?”

“Have I got a back brace, in case Jen gets randy?”

Oh. It’s already 5:00 AM… guess I missed the show.

I probably should not screw up my family’s sleep cycle just to go watch rocks fall out of the sky. But I am. Weird.

Tags: baby, bachelor, comedy, etiquette, internet, meteor, miami, orlando, perseid, Podcast, radio, sales, shower, somacow, southwestern, talk, uberbastard, wedding

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by The Olde Cup and Saucer. It’s the best damn gypsy business in town, and Jen and I absolutely love it.

In this episode, we discussed my newfound love for tea, in all its forms, from the new Pure Leaf stuff being pimped by Lipton to this special magic brew oolong bomb secret spicy tea I am drinking. I only ask 2 things from my tea – be cold, and not taste like rotting fruit. There is NOTHING worse than tea that has sat in a cistern at a fast food restaurant for too long, and now every sip makes you wonder if it was brewed from the grout cleanings at the local YMCA shower. Except maybe Nestea. Holy crap, there must be acid in that stuff, like, scour your pooldeck acid, cause it will give you the burning coughy all day long.

We tried out a new segment, where I quiz my fellow hosts in an effort to determine who is paying attention. I think it was fun, Mickey and J looked silly, and the listeners enoyed playing along, so I think I will make it a Staple each week. Play along in the chatroom, and prove to everyone else that you are the smart!
We talked about a terrible story from Hawaii, where bureaucracy has caused one family the ultimate in suffering. For shame, faceless governmental agency sprouting needlessly from our senseless fear… For SHAME.

We also talk about my MAN! He may not be as lefty as Kucinich, or as outsidery as Ron Paul, but I feel like it is time. It’s time, for

I cannot wait! A vote for Obama is a vote against old people!

I choked down so much meat this week, that my olfactory isn’t making enough ol’ offal for me to get through Henry Rollins, so I cheated and pre-reviewed Mr. Black’s book. I am ashamed, you are nonplussed, Amazon is waiting for your credit card number.

We all agree that the writer’s strike, while lengthy, was unnecessary. After watching recent episodes of all the major evening shows, it is apparent that the writers were not what made the shows so good.

Mickey rarely suggests links, so you should take notice of these:

Funny or Die

You Suck At Photoshop

Andy Mila… Millakno…. Milinoc…. That Fat Greek Kid is NOT The Man Show Boy. I am serious, look it up.

Mickey also regaled us with a film that we must go see, if only to look for traces of Chrispy.

Please feel free to send us your independent music, movie scripts, finger paintings, pictures of bewbs, and other assorted creative stuffs, and we will happily display it in a place of prominence, here, on the internet’s refrigerator door of justice. moo@somacow.com!

Music:

• The Saints – Je Fuckin’ T’aime

• Bad Astronaut – Auto Care

Hey, about that Free iPod! Make sure you check the top o’ the page for the linkity link!

Tags: alternative, andy, astronaut, atkins, bad, barack, black, boobs, chat, comedy, constipation, cup, die, diet, free, funny, futi, hawaii, henry, independant, independent, internet, ipod, kucinich, leaf, lewis, man, michael, milonakis, movie, music, obama, olde, orlando, paul, photoshop, pittsburgh, Podcast, pure, quiz, radio, rollins, ron, saints, samoa, saucer, scripts, show, shower, suck, tea, ustream, ymca