SomaCow 231: Post A Pock A Lips

Geoff — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 08:34:21 +0000

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Shoot Straight Gun and Knife and Pawn and Tast-E-Freeze. They need your business, because these cannot come off a single bullet to test fire, nor repair a gun, apparently. I hate when small local business act all small and locally.

In this hour, we discussed Mickey’s new developed fondness for Shooting, the happiness unearmarked Ribs can bring to one’s life, and what we all do to survive in the post-apocalyptic world, now that the S*&# is headed right straight at the fan.

Do the Diet Dew

Mickey will most assuredly immediately head to the airfields, securing a plane exactly capable of lifting his massive stocks of Diet Mountain Dew into the air. Irritated by his common man, his will be the easiest of adjustments, and he will often laugh as people ignore his sage words, only to be scooped up by highwaymen and sold into butt slavery. Strangely, even in the dark future, the first thing criminals do is touch the butt. Weird, isn’t it?

J will shutter his 327 bedroom-half bath manse, electing to ignore the comings and serious goings of modern day society. Hours into his ordeal, as his supply of delicious roasted beefs, succulent brats, and enormous larders of pork loin dwindle, he will be forced to eat Yip and Skim, his favorite and only dachshunds. Minutes later, his family will follow. Rumors will spread far and wide throughout the lands of Sand Fort of a remarkably affable cannibal, luring victims to his dinner table with the promise of perfectly chilled shiraz and a fine double barreled stogie.

I will be pissed. Jen will probably have to learn to till soil, fight mutants, create electricity, divine water, train delivery people, block radiation, emit sunlight, and a host of other tasks in an effort to keep me pleased. Perhaps the scarcity of food will give me pause, and I will not consume her food as well as my own. Stranger things have happened.

Ross will toke something, and call in to a radio show to describe the damage he’s seeing. He’ll probably end up winning a bomb shelter for calling.

We watched it all come apart to the following great bands:

The Manifest Content – News at Noon
The Fadeout – Greatest Time to Be

And make sure you check out Randy LaLonde’s excellent books at Spinward Fringe – We review the first in that series in this episode. What it lacks in length it makes up for in brilliant character development, wit and wry humor, and damned compelling moral consideration. Get it, slave!

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SomaCow 231: Post A Pock A Lips

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