SomaCow

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, sponsored in this hour by ustream.tv – a phenomenal service!

In this episode, we tread through dangerous waters, so much so in fact that we got a letter from our lawyers and I think that will say it all! I’ve cut out all the scary lawyer names up top and included the body for you to enjoy:

Mr. Cow

As your representative, I must comment on your 2nd hour from your most recent live show last Sunday, and warn you of some potential legal issues you are treading upon.

First, “robo-crips” and “rollin’ on stubs”? These are not terms that will endear your show to Americans with Disabilities, nor are they defensible should a lawsuit originate from their continued use.

Secondly, self diagnosis. Should you wish to destroy your own kidneys, or more so, damage your health by continuing a regiment of ignoring doctors’ advice and eschewing wellness exams, so be it; please do not share your so-called medical wisdom on the air. Were the general public to adhere to your so-called advice, the results would be a pandemic of overweight, lisping tubbies with ED and halitosis. But Mickey does need that butt-exam. We don’t want his colon being resected…although that would make good radio…

Thirdly, cloning. Could you have picked a stickier topic? And then you talk about eating clones? Gross!

Please think about your topics and your audience. We don’t need all these fabulous new members of The Heard to go off and sue us or die or vomit all over their computer and ruin it.

Sincerely,

Mybiscuits Syrupon, P.A.

Dewey, Screwthemoverincourtandthenrapetheirdogsinfrontoftheirkids, and Howe,

Attorneys of Sorts.

We also talked about Organ Donating. I totally donated my organ to Jen the other night.We also swapped livers with the following bands:

• 16_Volt – You Run
• Swingin’ Utters – Five Lessons Learned
• In Stereo – Waking Up

Tags: cow, cripple, dubbs, dubs, election, florida, health, infection, kidney, obama, olympics, orlando, paralympics, Podcast, primary, radio, rollin', smurf, soma, somacow, special, talk, wellness, wheelchair

We congratulate you, as a person of taste, class, and sophistication. We hope you will put that all aside and enjoy the wonder of our new show, Somacow.

We began this venture under a different name, and with a different cast, in a different studio. Lots of adversity has befallen us, including one of our show members winning the lottery and going on to build custom choppers in the Caymans and not answering our phone calls. The changes we have undergone have forged us anew, and we stand now ready to provide you, our listeners, with a wealth of phenomenal internet radio the likes of which have never been heard.

Well, right after we get through this first episode. It was like losing our show virginity again, with Mickey and I stumbling over each other’s cues, flailing away at the following topics:

Mickey has anger issues that often lead to tantrum fits. I consoled him, but I think what I said just enraged him further. He is an angry, angry co-host, and I fear him. I am terrified that he will show me what “The Penis Thing” is, and I simply do not feel the show can survive such an incident.

Copyrighting, in general, is a good thing, but many organizations are abusing their trademarks, causing creativity to become stifled and capitalism to fail. We give a few specifics, and encourage you folks to check out all those Star Wars Parodies. Some of them, especially Troops, slay us.

One of the biggest problems we faced with the show rename was that it is impossible to develop a name these days, seeing as most every letter series is now owned by some upstart company in TwoHams, Idaho. Seriously… Copper Pig media? Steel Rabbits Amalgamated? SynCorn? MADNESS. We selected SomaCow Media, and trademarked the ass out of that. So, please, if you use the name, send us some cheddar. better to be a landowner than a squatter, or something.

We touched on the tragedy up north, but I am not entirely sure we got all the facts right. Lots of people were yelling at us in the chat room, stating that we were mixing up the facts and making a mockery of the situation. This was not our intention, and we welcome folks to set us straight on what went down that fateful night in Ohio.

Featured during the show this episode we had some great music! Check out these bands:

* Fabs – Surfing Safari
* Luck and Trouble – One Hit Blunder
* Cobra Starship – Bring It
* Hot One – Pistol Whip Me
* The Sleeping – Loud and Clear

We wrapped up with the Alec Baldwin Incident, and Mickey refreshed me on parenting. Poor Alec, so hated, and so misunderstood by the world. We know the level of anger a harpy-like ex and her Salacious Crumb Demon Pawn Offspring can drive a man to, and we… well, I, stand by you now in your time of pain. All divorces make men insane.

Please feed us back on what you thought of this episode. We’ll see you on Wednesday with Episode 2!

Tags: alec, baldwin, cobra, copyright, copywriting, cow, episode, fabs, first, hot, internet, little, luck, one, orlando, phat, phoenix, pig, Podcast, radio, rude, show, sleeping, soma, starship, the, the syndicate, trouble