Originally procreating at http://somacow.com
Tobacco Comeback
Free Donut Day
Is a Funnel Cake a Donut?
Stop the Abortion!
J = Grandpa x 4
Grandmother Parts
Steak and BJ Day
Slash Forum
SomaTat
Posts Tagged “steak”omaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this week by our myspace page! Never updated, and rarely checked, it’s the best way to get in touch with us this side of walking outside of your house and shouting, “SomaCow!” Neighbors done looking at you yet? Good.
In this, our… um… Hour, we discussed a myriad of topics, both sophomoric and profound. We ran the gambit of gabbery on a gadabout glorious… We attacked the tough issues facing Amer…. Okay, it was straight fart talk for twenty minutes. But that is to be expected at this point. We all had a lotta ribs and beefs, and that makes for this type of discussion. Surely you can understand. We bravely attempted to pull the show out of its nosedive of frappery with a topic on steakhouses – specifically, is the steakhouse dying? Why are all the chains dropping in quality or shutting their doors? Look at the facts: Outback – Sucked. No two bones about it, whatever they are doing today (dry bread, yellow salads, tough beefs, dumb staff) is a pale shell of what they once had going on Longhorn – Salted beefs? My mamma always said, if you gotta put that much seasoning on, you are trying to hide something. What is the secret to your salty beefs, oh Horn of Assumed Length?  Image via Wikipedia Roadhouse – Closed, assumed Orlando bankrupt. I will miss your yeasty bounty, and bloody medium rare beefs most of all, scarecrow Steak and Ale – Someone finally put the fork in this cheesy seventies franchise. Gasp! Where will rude dumb teenagers hold their post-graduation dinners now?! It doesn’t leave us with much, does it folks? Houstons? Overpriced at best – Seriously – who is paying 12 dollars for a baked potato? It’s a TUBER, for Christ’s sake! Fleming’s – I’ve never been, how is it?  Image via Wikipedia Ruth’s Chris – a fascinating establishment, capable of delivering a steak that tastes like it sat in a bowl of Redenbacher’s finest overnight. By which I mean to say, your butter has beef flavor on it. Ted’s – I would pay a hundred dollars to eat at Ted’s, to try a Ted on the side, and wash it down with a Ted. We, sadly, went all D and D at the end. Mickey tried to save us with some good Life Coaching at the :42, but the damage was done, and we never really recovered. We sat for three hours waiting for our salads, listening to the following great music:
Related articles by Zemanta
 SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Steak and Ale. If you still have a good set of teeth, and your rest home allows for it, it’s the place to BE! We host the black flag this morning here on SomaCow, as we bid adieu to our dear Uberbastard from the State of Florida. Rare and strange is the sort of fast friendship that I have developed with this man, who drips with sexcasm and sardonicry with every word. Consider this a “Cautionary Tale of Woe” to you, dear listeners… If you know a large man with a big heart (not an enlarged heart, a big heart) that likes to drink and crack wise, take him out now and fill his giant, saucy belly with booze and his ear with camaraderie. You only get so much time in the Sun of a Star like Uber, people, and you really should soak it in while you can.
So, Goodbye to you, Uberbastard. May you find whatever it is that you need in North Carolina. See you in 2 years, tops. No one gets out alive. J and I are losing weight (50 lbs between us so far!) and Mickey is terrified of losing his status of “Show Hot Guy”. I actually gained all of this weight to keep the constant stream of hoors off of my doorstep, and am interested to see what will happen this time around. Gotta drop the pounds fast now, as I only have 100 days until my daughter arrives. No one wants to be dropped off at school by FatDad. We talked about shopping, and revealed Mickey’s dark shopping secret. I wonder if he ties a nice pink ribbon in his hair before entering the grocery store. Paper or plastic? I never know now. It used to be paper, cause plastic was chemically and bad. Then it was plastic, cause you could recycle the bags, and paper kills trees. Now it’s cloth, but that has to cost something somewhere too, right? I remember reading that cotton fields were bad for the environment or something. From now on, I say we just drag an ice wagon behind us. Better hurry home, before your groceries are all over the sidewalk. Mickey and TCTHID do not eat together. I gotta do something about that. There is a bond that occurs between a man and his woman when they sit in silence and listen to each other chew. Check out J’s newsbomb, as it was my turn this week to derail him. I took the camera in our Ustream and directed it at his neck fat, only to realize, HE HAS NO MORE NECK FAT! The man is svelte, ladies… And single (hubba hubba!) By single, I actually mean married. The Russians blah blah blah. Screw them potato drinking pansies! We played the following fantabulous musics in this, our finest hour:
|
|
|
Entries (RSS)