SomaCow

This week was a scramble, and my diet suffered for it. We ended up eating far too many eggs, and under-marinating chicken, and I wanted to get things organized. I find it is far easier to maintain a method when you are organized.

I learned today that Diabetes is way more complicated than it first seemed. It’s not just “eat no sugar, eat no grain”. It’s multiple layers of difficult choices; it’s incessant label-reading, and fact-checking, and net-verifying. It requires sage, patient examination.

So, I will continue to learn what that means, but for now, I am trying to stick to what I know is right. A small amount of protein, a large amount of vegetable, and some very coarse grain, like a wheaty english muffin or some oats.

But how the hell do you eat a barley? Or a rye? I am pretty sure i cannot go get a loaf of rye bread and gnosh down. I have got to figure that out. Hopefully the classes I am taking will better explain glycemic indices and what not.

Got a bunch of chicken, lean pork cutlets, shrimp, a few lbs of whole tilapia (with heads!), and some decent frozen veg at Sams Club today. Also threw in some weiners, in case I get the screaming hungries, I can at least fend off the need with a brace of protein. I know, fucking hotdogs? Maybe that was a bad choice.

As you can see, I broke out most of the meat into large dinner bags, so I can cook for us without cooking 36 lbs of meat. Now all we need to buy during the week is light salad fixings when needed. Plenty of leafy green, if you know what I mean. When I find a good local fish market (there is supposed to be one north of us up in Sanford) I will be in heaven. If you know any Smelt recipes, let me know.

I also nabbed a crock pot cookbook for diabetes. I am leery of it already, because it seems to allow straight up flour, but it is endorsed by the American Diabetes Association. Are they, like, Susan G. Komen? An alleged scam? Or am I just misunderstanding diabetes, yet again? I really dislike contradictory information.

Crabocalypse was amazing, and my blood sugar was a 167 AFTER dinner this evening. Very happy to see I am finding balance with this thing. I used to pee 20-30 times a day, and now it’s more like 4-5. I used to drink constantly, and I’ve had a glass of unsweetened tea sitting here for an hour that I had one sip off of thus far.

Love it!

 

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SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by spb designs photography. Take a moment to immerse yourself in some of his pictures. His style is innovative and atypical, and wholly neat.

In this hour, we discussed shopping with another man, Technicolor, and some guy who lives in Orlando and wears a panda suit. I don’t know, just go with it. Can’t be any worse than our standard third hour fare, right?

I was shocked to learn that Mickey thinks I over-order at the butcher. Maybe I do, but that is only because I shop when I am hungry. Here, for your pleasure, are my High Dollar Food Grocery Chain seeking tips, courtesy of the ‘Cow:

1. Never Shop Hungry. As soon as you arrive at your local high end grocery store, head straight for the olive bar. You can theoretically eat 48 of these in a few seconds, and the layer of olives, oil, and salt in your stomach will help you to make smarter choices in your cuts. Ignore the stares of other patrons and employees… Their coats are not shiny.

2. Buy in Bulk. If London Broil, or Delmonicoes, or even a good beef stew meat is on sale, it doesn’t matter how many people are being served, how much meat you can safely ingest in a months time, or even the contents of your meager checking account. BUY IT ALL. I have NEVER looked across the table and thought, “gee, I purchased reasonably! I am thrilled to not have leftovers!” You can never have too much meat. If you ever find yourself in such a ridiculous predicament, come see me.

3. Stick to the Meats and Vegetables. It’s a known fact that all higher end grocers line their counters with great priced local produce and fresh, tasty food. So why is everyone in this store so fat? It’s the Pastry, stupid. Covered in butter, swollen with sugary goodness, these evil entrepreneurs have left eclairs and napoleans aplenty lurking behind each and every corner. You have to be strong, and slap aside such sweettraps. Eye on the prize, never look back just keep…. Oh… It’s got key lime filling? Okay, just… Just give me 18 of them. Thanks! Oh! Hey, is that sea salt and habenero popcorn over there? That goes good with Kona, right?

4. Carry a Basket. This is the only real tip on the list. You should not be eating more than you can carry (unless it is cheap beef, see tip #2). If you get a cart, you can load and load and load, and the next thing you know, you have a $456.82 bill and you are wondering just how the hell does one cook butternut squash, anyway? Avoid this scenario, and just get the li’l basket. Ignore the fact that your friend keeps insulting your sexuality and asking if you are going to see your grandmother. 1 in 5 adults have Herpes, and he is looking 20, if you know what I mean.

5. Get Your Wife to Do It. I cannot stress this enough: The easiest way to get a chore done quickly and with a minimum of effort is to have someone else do it. Life is so much easier when you have other people buy your food, cook your meals, tie your shoes, write your blogs. If you do it, and it sucks, or does not go well, or in any way fails, you have to scramble for someone to blame. Only by sitting back, and forcing others to do your bidding can you truly find fault, and yet not exert effort.

Best of luck, Shoppers!