Posts Tagged “teacher”Originally jumped the orca at SomaCow.com
Whale Killer SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by The Secret Terrorists. Learn the secrets of who killed Kennedy! Thrill to the truth about Bill Clinton! Amaze your friends as you blame every single problem ever met by the world on… The Jesuits? WTF are the Jesuits, mom? We discussed what happens when you give kids the conch, the real reason gas prices are so damned high, and we lamented those hardest hit by the energy crisis.
It’s no secret that autistic children can be annoying! Their impromptu outbursts, stereotypy, and ritualistic behavior make them into excellent talk radio hosts, but terrible classmates. Enter Port St. Lucie, Florida (The Land That Decency Forgot), and their forward-thinking educators, who assemble a brilliant plan: Rather than wait for these kids to kill Piggy on the recess playground, why not schedule a time IN CLASS to berate an autistic child before banning his sorry ass from the room? Hahahah! Oh, kids, they say the darnedest things. Wendy Portillo, Hitler salutes you! I get a lot of email from you folks, (well, that isn’t true. I get ten emails from you. One is usually asking me to have somebody tickle J, one is Chrispy, mocking me for not having the sense to eat something as good as what he has been eating for ten years now, six are requests from bands that we play their song on the show, and one is from my mom, who has yet to listen to a single episode, but wonders where the play button can be found) asking me about Gas Prices. We spend a good part of this hour explaining who is at fault with the energy crisis, and how you can help bring them down. We rounded out the hour with a report on those hardest hit by these ever-increasing fuel prices and steadily-declining dollar value. Truckers? Arsonists? Race Car Enthusiasts? Nope, nope, and nope. But I sure would like to connect to her bp before I chevron her amoco and then exxon all over her mobil until my pump runs dry, ten-four. Watch the scenery pass you by while you jam on the following great bands:
SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this hour by the fine folks at BJ’s Brewhouse. Cause, seriously. wow. That is just some good damned food. So, yeah. We talk about something all too near and completely undear to me – Clowns. Their caked makeup, their faux sad/happy/stupid faces, their shiny clothes, their giant floppy appendages, and their myriad stupid “gags”. Last week it was reported that many children hate, fear, or are indifferent to clowns. DAMNED RIGHT. The clowns are going apetits, hollering that kids need them, and love them. As IF. The kids in the burn ward have been through ENOUGH, Bonzo.
Cassie rejoins us, and we pry some more goods out of her. The girl is just open. Communicative, intelligent, spirited, and I pitch a hissy fit at J in this hour because he keeps plowing into me and my conversation with Cassie. Maybe I should have led the episode with, “Putting the block in my cock”. Worst Sesame Street Episode Title, Ever. Cassie confirms my longstanding belief on Fat Girls and Personality. It’s a rock solid theory, but I have always wondered – what about all the mean fatty women out there, with no personality, no intelligence… Straight up Fatches – What makes fat girls go bad? Is it the lack of sex? The scarcity of lemon cake? The weakness of chairs? Mickey and I give some clothing choice for sexy time. The teacher/librarian/lawyer look is all that a woman needs to get on for most guys to get off, it would seem. J, being firmly entrenched in 1996, likes club chix chic. Please send him pictures of your boobs lit by glowsticks and he will kindly thank ye. And check out Mickey’s Lifecoaching segment (around the :40)! It’s a can’t miss experience, every week, and I am looking forwards to the book in 09! In this hour, we rolled the following great songs in flour and looked for the G clef:
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