SomaCow

 

 SomaCow 590: Stop You Are Under Arrest [1:07:28m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Originally using baby spoons at http://somacow.com

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 SomaCow 388: J Is Being Put On A Boat [1:04:08m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Originally canned at SomaCow.com

In this hour, the guys, minus J, fired J. Seems there was an email from a woman listener from New York somewhere sent J over the edge and he didn’t come in. Seems very odd to me… wonder how it will turn out?

Also, Geoff went to the mall and in said mall, there was a tattoo parlor! My first thought was that this was just silly but I bet mall space rental is at its cheapest compared to other space with the economy the way it is. Still, tattoo parlors seem to be by drinking establishments or in flea markets, at least around here. Do you have any tattoos? Would you get one? Will Ross get one to show his love for the Cow?

Among other great things like a call from Wes Heath from a BOAT (mother f’er), the guys also talked about The Office 1 hour special wedding episode and advertising, especially with photoshop.

Tune in Wednesday for the podcast to see how the J issue is resolved!

Geoff and Mickey are always teasing me about being “old man on the show”. I secretly suspect that this is merely because I was born a long time before they were. But now I guess I can’t complain, because I have finally committed the ultimate old-person act:

“*GASP*”, you gasp, “You have purchased white Sans-a-Belt slacks?!?!”

No, don’t be ridiculous.

I have registered to vote.

Registration, and the whole voting process, conjures up images in my mind of my grandfathers who, after watching fat, old, white men in black suits on the evening news for two hours, causing me to miss the crucial opening minutes of “Sanford and Son” where the whole premise of the episode is established, would grumble and cuss and kick their pale, veiny, spindly grandfather legs at the TV, and swear that they were going to vote against that sonofabitch whom they just voted INTO office during the previous election.

See? Old people actually CARE about what the valueless, ineffectual politicians say and do. Kids, like me, see the world with the clarity of youth and realize that it is far more important to eat Fruity Pebbles, watch Scooby-Doo and put baseball cards in the spokes of your bicycle because it makes a cool noise that sounds exactly unlike a motorcycle.

What’s more, I can PROVE that no elected official in history has had the slightest impact on this nation, or on me, or on you, or on our families as Americans. Ask the Republicans where the problems of today came from, and they will say “From the Clinton administration”. They realize that George Washington Bush has done NOTHING during his eight years in office that impacts us in any way. Next, ask the Democrats where the problems of the Clinton administration came from, and they will say…(ummm…hang on a second while I look up who the President was before Clinton…OH!..OK.) They will say that George Harvey Washington Bush (no relation) was the source of all the misery, completely negating anything that Clinton may have pretended to do while in office. And so it goes, back and back and back through Presidents Ronald Reagan and John Fitzpatrick Kennedy and Benjamin Franklin. None of them, if you ask their party, did anything wrong and none of them, if you ask the opposing party, did anything right.

Net effect: zero.

So, for years I just ignored Washington (the city, not the actual d00d, because I believe that he may be deceased) hoping that it would lobby and spend and impeach itself out of existence, and we citizens could all get back to the REAL American business of hating foreigners and manufacturing sub-standard cars.

But, I finally realized that participating in the election process gives me the ultimate power as an American: the power to vote AGAINST more fat, old, white men in black suits on the evening news for two hours, causing me to miss the crucial opening minutes of “The Office” where the whole premise of the episode is established.