SomaCow

 

 SomaCow 284: Love Cleavage [56:44m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media Network is proud to present SomaCow.  This week it is brought to you by A ShunShine Day.

In this episode we discussed how much we all love the Brady Bunch.  It was a heart warming show that provided hope for the many people that suffered from shattered lives due to deaths of moms, dads, husbands or wives.

But that really isn’t important right now.

On Twitter, I engaged in a conversation about how to fix our economy.  After rattling off a few ideas, we boiled it down to hot chicks.  Hot chicks are the key, the solution, the drips and drops we need to fix our country’s shattered economic Brady Bunch.  Inspired by the cleavage of Miss Jenny Love Hewitt, we feel that a chorus of hot chicks (with well exposed cleavage) should sing a song in the style of USA for Africa, begging the world for money.  It was also suggested that the clan of cleavage be sent to the United Nations and have them politely ask, while leaning exposingly forward, for the rest of the world to send charitable contributions to our economy.

Face it, if you are a guy and you see cleavage, you stare.  If you are a lady and you have cleavage, you enjoy the attention.  I have never met a woman that honestly said the sentence, “I didn’t realize my shirt was that low cut”.  You knew.  You planned it.  You designed it like that.  You drank all night for free.

If cleavage wasn’t such a big deal, the wonder bra industry would be dead.

I am not bitching here.  Not by a long shot.  I am a big fan of cleavage.  If I could put cleavage on a bun, I would have it for lunch every day.  Atkins diet be damned!

Here’s a secret:  Women have the tools needed to rule the world.  But like Luke when he first gets his light sabre, women do not know how to weild it correctly.  In one of my life coaching classes that is offered at the Mickey’s Life Coaching Academy, we cover this subject.  Some students may require excessive tutoring, but it is so worth it.

One day people will listen, the chicks will be recruited, the money will be raised, and the economy will be saved.  And when all is said and done, we have Jennifer Love Hewitt to thank for it all.

Oh, complete side notes:
1) It is DOWN Periscope.  (Not UP)
2) It was Jesse Jackson that called New York a “Hymietown” (Not Al Sharpton)
3) Twitter is a useful tool for promotion
4) Avast! is a great, FREE, antivirus program.

Some links to interesting things that are sort of on topic:

• Jennifer Love Hewitt is still single, and still not hot! (music-juice.com)
• PETA Sends Dieting ‘Brady Bunch’ Star Vegetarian Starter Kit (ecorazzi.com)
• Growing Up Brady (mollygood.com)
• Howard Stern Questions Marsha Brady About Her History of Anal Sex [FNFF] (gawker.com)

 

 266: News Noose [59:11m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by our new show, Prime Time Geek – Plug in, and be enlightertained!

So, in this hour, we decided to put right a great wrong, namely, underappreciation of our Producer, Ross. The guy goes through so much to get our show out each week… And we don’t even offer him health insurance! Thrill in this hour as we discuss the horrific child abuse he suffered, resulting in this.

Ross is still recovering from his mishap, and so we dedicated a whole episode to his news stories. And don’t think we just skirt a bunch of headlines… This is extensive, deep thrusting journalism. A whole hour of all the news THEY don’t want you to know!

I spent a little time just now, watching CNN, Fox, etc. I am amazed that these channels still exist. Poorly pronounced non-facts being flubbed by overly teethy smilamatrons, lying through their eyes as they glaze over truth and push policy as press. Nasty. Not so here at SomaCow, where we mutter the truth between mouthfuls of whatever food some kind listener has so graciously graced us with.

So we chatted about Chinese Men that smoke, and Waffle Houses, and Waffles in General, and the supreme Waffle.

It was pretty sweet, all around.

If I could turn aside from the jocularity and goofiness we normally get up to, I have a real question for you, the listener. Please be honest.
Why…

Does Burger King…

Make such an awful stomach pain?

You don’t believe me? Go eat some tater tots, and get back to me. IF YOU CAN.

 

 260: Knock Knock [57:40m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this week by The Drew Show, The Redboy Podcast, The Sports Buzz, and Nobody Likes Onions.

Geoff doesn’t feel like writing the blog tonight and I don’t blame him. After all, after about 30 minutes of him being at work he got a frantic call from me, his lovely wife, that I had a family emergency. He got someone to drive him home (one-car family) and then proceeded to drive my rambling crazy ass to Clearwater.

He held my hand, sang They Might Be Giants and Bob Marley with me, and, best of all, he drove!

Then he sat with me and about 80 clergy friends of my family (they aren’t really that churchy but I guess pastors have nothing to do on a Tuesday morning but visit a hospital waiting room) and helped, got answers, got snacks, got drinks, kept us laughing….

So it was a long day for us all and we are going to get some rest so I can go back to visit family again tomorrow. Thank you all for keeping us in your thoughts, as of now everything looks good and I’m sure we’ll share more Live this Friday! See you then!